Monthly Archives: February 2012

hello world! Mark Twain

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”


hello world! music: big bang comeback

  • 1 day ago


    『BIGBANG 5th Mini Album Title Track ‘BLUE’ RELEASED!』
    ☞ YG Music: http…
    dragonseatchocolates dragonseatchocolates commented:
    BAD move on the american girl… couldve chosen a brazillian or hot puerto rican model, even indian. but I LOVE THE SONG! MV not so much. sad song shouldve had a light upbeat MV right??
    i got bashed for this comment… I LOVE BB though…
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Posted by on February 24, 2012 in music


Hello world: Angel showdown.

i’m sure i’m not the only who’s experience this ‘out of this world’ awakening of some sort. a stab that sort of woke you up to the real-ness* of it all ( *deliberate*). I have to stop over thinking things and playing the blame-game and start looking at the facts and decide whether to follow my dreams or to follow a new dream.
Thing is, we all encounter this kind of thing in life (for me it’s kind of different though, i’m a stubborn old soul ever since i was 10!), even people i looked up to before encountered this roadblock. they had the audacity to overlook something distasteful and move forward. as for me… i am tempted.
in my heart, i feel that i know the answer. but in my mind the answer seems like a gamble, seems stupid, seems… careless, seems like i can control the result but i am reckless enough to mess it up.
10 years from now, 20 years from now. what will happen to us? To my generation? Are we going to end up like my mom? my dad? my aunt? or people i see on facebook? twitter? who’s going to be the next bruno mars? lady gaga? beyonce? rihanna? pope? obama? did PNoy ever knew that ‘he’ was going to end up being the president of the ‘philippines’??
I just realized this now, that people like certainty or are obsessed with security. I have been too preoccupied and obsessed with movies and my hobbies that i missed out on planning and thinking about the things that i want, need, like and dont want, need, like to happen to me.
I always thought that I am going to be what I want to be. but it didnt occur to me that dreaming wasnt enough, ideas werent enough. People i admire were once normal people… who’ve gone into this metamorphosis-stage (i dunno what to call it) in different ages. some 18, some 25, some 30, some 40…
it was just a shocker. no one really knows about the future. no one has the assurance.
but one can only know what makes the great… GREAT, and the average… average. although, i hate categorizing people in that manner, there’s a psychological explanation about why people are the way they are, a psychological reason that people wont be able to control. So who are we to judge who’s great and who isn’t?
so… this is what they call fear. this is so pathetic! 
this is what i get for getting ahead of myself. for being arrogant and conceited. 
am i going to be a doctor?
a lawyer?
or a director?
i just stumbled upon this article today, (coincidence?)

1. Overcome your fears.

“He was scared of just about everything,” recalls Leah Adler, Spielberg’s mother. “When trees brushed against the house, he would head into my bed.”

Fear is something we all must deal with as human beings. Some people remain in your comfort zones and never venture into the unknown. You might want to become a writer or director but you’re afraid what others might say about your new ambitions. The naysayers might plant doubt and fear in your mind. “Working in film is too unstable” or “It’s all about luck and who you know”. Maybe the thought of giving your filmmaker dream a shot and not becoming successful will leave you looking like a fool.

Spielberg also had to learn to conquer his fear of failure. After being rejected by the extremely prestigious film school at UCLA, upon which he had pinned his hopes and dreams, Spielberg was unsure what the future held in store for him. While he knew film was his passion, he began to wonder whether or not he would be able to succeed at it. Unwilling to give up his dream, he enrolled in California State University and continued on his path. But, again, after getting a C in his television production course, Spielberg had to wonder whether he would ever amount to anything in this industry. He then took the even riskier decision to drop out of school and pursue his passion on his own.


Fear is an eye opener? the yin to my yang? the thing that turned everything around? What turned me inside out? turned a doer into a thinker?

FEAR. i was fearless to the point that it’s crazy. i was free to the point that it’s stupid. fearless, crazy, free and stupid… that’s me. also a dreamer.

I didnt realize my fears because i had none. I was so complete before that i took it for granted

i didnt listen to anyone and i just followed my guts and instincts..


now i fear. dishonest people, schemers, depressing people, pessimists, people with no soul, insecure, thieves, imitators

i hope to be with children all the time.

thing is, back then i hated kids. does that mean i was like a kid that’s why i didnt like them? because we’re similar? and now i hate these kinds because ive been exposed to them and been contaminated myself?

there really are people with evil intentions. ‘yoshihiro togashi’ the creator and ‘yuyu hakusko’ wasnt just making up those monsters in the human world. when ‘yusuke yurameshi’ woke from the dead and was able to see these demons flying around humans. possessing them, making them depressed.

this is the reality of life, so it seems. i am ready for it, so it seems. thing is i want to BE. but i dont know how to face dishonest people, or pretentious people, nor can i detect them. I only know myself. i dont want to slander them, talk about anyone, take sides… I dont like politics. i just want to do and create things (that sounded weird). To laugh and make people laugh.

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Posted by on February 15, 2012 in journal


anime/manga: BAKUMAN

BAKUMAN. I have no idea how i began watching this anime but i’m really glad i did. I have to admit though that if i werent too bored i wouldn’t give this anime the time of day, but i got so into it that i can’t help putting up a review. So, even if i’ve been suppressing my ‘otaku-self’ for the past year, i just have to let it out and write this review just this once.

A major reason why the series caught my eye was because it was authored and illustrated by 2 of my favorite artists: Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, makers of ‘death note’.
first off (before i get on with the actual review) i’m actually really glad that i saw the series… i’ve seen ‘bakuman’s plot summary’ 100 times on the internet, on shounen jump website, while browsing for mangas truthfully, the summary put me off the first time i saw it, and then the second time again (because i forgot that i already checked it) and then the third (i really forget things that i think are boring or ‘crappy’, but because Ohba and Obata made it, i keep on forgetting that i already saw the plot summary, i guess i really look up to them that much that i keep forgetting they made another series that wasn’t to my liking, or really, in my opinion, isnt to anyone else’s liking… a manga about manga? seriously? a novel wouldve been nice) anyway, as a huge fan of these two with their great artistry, great sense, great collaboration/teamwork, i finally watched it after 4 years… 
It made me understand ‘death note’ on a higher sense (?), what made it special. Reading ‘bakuman’ made me understand ohba and obata-sensei and validated my thoughts about them as writers and artists. I’m really a huge fan of death note, so even before watching ‘bakuman’, i already noticed death note’s weird and unlikely appeal as a manga, how it is 1000x different from what shounen jump used to publish for their target readers. NARUTO, ONE PIECE, HUNTER X HUNTER, GHOSTFIGHTER, BLEACH and suddenly here comes ‘death note’ with its complete and finished manga series! i mean, why were they able to finish it that quick? and these other top mangas are still ongoing til now??? DN however was completed fast, the story was so polished and so deep… it has a movie adaptation and a great anime adaptation too.
even when i was 18, i had a part time job as a video editor and i saw grown men imitating ‘L’ and i was like, ‘death note’s a cult, the people behind it must be geniuses’, it was in a league of its own, and yet, i think it’s still underrated despite its accomplishments… compared to ‘naruto’, ‘bleach’, ‘one piece’, ‘harry potter’ (where did that come from? a bit of o/reaction!). Bakuman answered my questions about how much the storyline comes from the artists and what influences the artists? How much of the story IS the story? and how much of it isn’t? If that makes any sense. Anyway, since we’re in the topic of discussing the makers, what really amazed me at that time, as a serial* manga reader, was how different their plot and schemes were from the successful manga-stereotype. FOR ONE: it didnt have battles or any indication that it was ripped off from Dragon Ball Z, or Rurouni Kenshin. It was so original. It captivates a reader and make them take it seriously. It was so refined and cultured for a manga/anime who targets younger audiences.
bakuman changed my view on manga in both good and bad ways. and it validated some hunches that i have about humans as artists. as usual, i dont know if it’s deliberate or by chance, but the two of them have that weird way of attracting viewers. so weird. weird=cant be explained. it attracted me for one after 4 years of only reading the summary because the story was a bit about them, it’s reality and manga combined, with that death note type of narration. it’s entertaining, it’s a quick-fix for bored people. 
It’s not easy to become and live as a mangaka, as Mashiro knows from his late uncle.

At his 9th grade, while trying to keep up with reality, school and then normal job, he left his notebook with a sketch of Azuki, a girl he likes. Takagi, a first rate student found it and trying to convince Mashiro to draw a manga with his story. Mashiro doesn’t like the idea and tries to decline.

Takagi, however, tries to stick to dream and found out that Azuki also wants to be a voice actress and already got a good reply from a production company. Takagi, then, brought Mashiro to her house and telling her his dream…. Mashiro then tells her that he will write a manga with Takagi and if their manga gets turned into an anime, she’ll voice the female lead and marry him. Azuki agrees, but the condition that she has is that they cannot meet until then. (mangafox)

my initial impression 3-4 years ago when i finished reading death note manga and saw bakuman as their next collaboration piece was, Oooo! So it’s true, writers do write about what they know..! A manga about manga?? The artwork drew me in, Akito, one of the protagonists, looked like Yagami Light from ‘death note’. it was kick ass and beautiful. But one look at the first page and i withdrew and read some ‘yaoi’ instead. I just didnt get it at that time, how could it be exciting? It’s not even like Ohba’s ‘hikari no go’ with its shonen-type artwork and story. I imagined it to be like ‘boys be’ or ‘bokura ga ita’. It’s basically a manga about 14-year old kids dreaming about being manga artists and making an anime out of their works at age 18.
But! The two were able to put their magic touch and make it cool to watch, it’s not like ‘prince of tennis’ or ‘hajime no ippo’, where there are tournaments to win, complicated techniques and training process or instructors to teach them, it was different because they were on their own, meeting people and meeting deadlines! *whoa… how exciting!* *sarcastic face* *bboing* haha.
how is it good? exactly my point… there were no ‘slow motions’ or ‘close ups’ when they were drawing manga, the story was more focused on the process and competitions and it was relayed in the most realistic manner, the ‘unrealistic’ parts were donned properly to add humor and character to the anime. 
not to mention, a lot of famous animes were seen on the show… BLEACH, NARUTO, ONE PIECE, HUNTER X HUNTER, DBZ! haha. they were on screen in almost every episode, that was cool.
there’s also the consistency of everything revolving around the cool friendship between the writing genius ‘akito’ and the amateur artist ‘saiko’. Unlike in Naruto (i’m a HUGE fan, i had my own website for it which i already took out) where Naruto had a huge gay-obsession for Sasuke, the two were mature boys chasing after one dream using their respective talents to create a masterpiece that is still far from their reach. Like in any manga, they are both high spirited and enthusiastic, but it is seen in the right moments and with the right amount. 
why it’s amazing:
For a plot that is unlikely to become interesting, they managed to up it and make the viewers react as if they were watching a battle-shonen manga… they were able to extract emotions that a fantasy/battle manga can. and the weird thing was that there were no antagonists and there were no ‘super powers’ or actual ‘monsters’.
The ‘reality’ part of the story is amazing, there’s no bias, well there’s a little, but in terms of gender, they don’t stick to one bias. I can’t explain it, but they were able to portray characters well. 
The different lives and characteristics of the mangaka artists were so interesting and entertaining. So fun to watch. 
The creators know what they are talking about, thus they were able to play around certain angles that normal people would know about but wouldnt be able to appreciate if they werent the artists themselves. Like the part of the ‘serialization’, the illustration and the way the episodes were told were both interesting, funny and cool. Who knew it was that hard to become a mangaka? the passion, the hard work that makes the profession noble and respectable in a different category. it’s amazing. art is amazing.
The way, i think, the two mangakas in the story were inspired by Ohba and Obata-sensei’s experiences and personalities. hehe… but i still think Ohba is a girl.
Anyway. this is it for now. But they made me realize that in a manga or any story, there should be a definite figure for something bad and something good. not necessarily stereotypical. but then i dont know anymore. i was shocked to see that mangakas and artists are pressured and that their ideas sometimes do not come from the heart. gah, this shows how naive i am and how much i believed in stories actually coming out from the imagination.
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Posted by on February 12, 2012 in review anime


Hello world! ‘on writing’

Strength, is infinite, sometimes we all won’t know our real strength unless  we know what’s important to us and the reason why they are important to us…
Again my words of wisdom that even I can’t follow and comprehend. These words suddenly bubble-popped into my head, if that makes any sense. At 23 I feel like I have suddenly gained the wisdom of an 80 year old woman. With it, I was robbed of my courage, my spontaneity,  my innocence and free nature. I miss not knowing anything. It might seem stupid to some, but I realized that it’s not good to know everything, the wonder seizes. The sparkle that triggers imagination and curiosity – gone. 
I can’t help but try to remember myself 5 years ago when I would hang out at the library to read until the school closed, for the sheer love of it, I felt overwhelmed with the library’s collection that my 4-year stay wouldnt be enough and so, I grabbed all the time I could get. Tolkien, Anne Rice, Rowling, Johanna Lindsey, Stephen King, Sydney Sheldon, Gaiman… I read everything, from everyone. I was… weird. and lucky. Weird that despite being a part of the athletic organization and other active organization, I spent my time hiding from my friends to sneak out to my own little corner at the fully air-conditioned library. LUCKY, because despite my weird behaviors and interests and my flippant image, I was loved and trusted. People from all walks of life accepted me. It was cool and fun. And everyday I knew that God was watching over me while my angels were both breathing down my neck.
I remember how i used to read those novels, to me they were a portal to another world more real than the one I live in. I wonder why. I loved my life, it wasn’t perfect, but it was fun… I was fun. And I saw books and stories more interesting than people. I was attracted to authors with a more visual writing style. I understood what they meant but now I realized that I didnt understand the reason behind them perfectly.
My favorite author back then were Tolkien and Rowling because I can visualize every second of every scene in their novels, it’s a bit fanatical but I wouldnt sleep and if possible bat an eye until I was done with a book. 
Now i realized that I have been tricked. Their intentions in writing the stories made depleted my enthusiasm a bit. Maybe because it was religious and knowing that lessened the effect of the magic, i know that stories have reasons and meanings behind them, but I just didnt expect God to be involved in a huge way. 
Stupid me, where did I think they got the idea? 
Anyway, I truly believed in their imagination and their vision, and that’s the reason I wanted to become a writer. They were the reason. But now, I clearly see where they were coming from. And I am just seeing where I am coming from.
Anyway, these writers, I don’t even know if they have real emotions or not (i know how I sound). I learned that being a writer  doesn’t necessarily require one to be emotional, you just got to have imagination and to be able to think logically. 😮
This is the first time in my life that I have ever been emotional. I have to stop it this year. Quit being emotional and be a pirate. Be a samurai. Be a ninja. right.
This concludes my entry for today.
I think I’m still the same though in terms of writing… free.

now watching: 

 now obsessing over: Star Craft and Hunter X Hunter

now listening to: Maxim Mvrca

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Posted by on February 4, 2012 in journal, quotes, thoughts