Category Archives: family

Family, love, hapiness and dreams

I am suddenly filled with different kinds of emotions right now, anguish, anger, fear, hopelessness, hopefulness, happiness, gratitude, vigor…
… and it all began with an episode from the Oprah Show. It all started with an interview of the ‘Trump Family’ and then I resumed on watching more episodes online until I came upon these horrid stories, one after another and it woke me up, it pinched my heart and awakened my empathy (and made me appreciate the creative people behind ‘Oprah’ and Oprah herself for being someone who knows what she’s doing and what she’s talking about). We all know that the world is a beautiful place but we humans make it seem otherwise… injustice and all, but one of my realizations, after watching this certain episode about a family torturing their three youngest members, made me sick even though I’m not as soft as I look, but this really made me realize the real impact of human evil/inhumanity, it made me feel for the victims and this took what remaining hope and faith I had in me for humanity (although I’m sure I’ll find a way to regain them again).
So, this episode really hit the home run… being a girl and all. I was protected, weird and I love sports so I know how to be aggressive, but seeing these girls made me know what it’s like to be forced into doing something you really don’t want to do, not just act like you don’t want to do it or you hate it half-heartedly, but really really be forced to do something against your will and you find yourself having no way out… and to come home everyday to it, that’s hell right there. I’d rather die than do that.
All I can do is pray for them and for people whose souls are tortured here, now, still… Back then, somewhere, a little part of my brain didn’t care much because I thought, that like in the movies, they can escape if they want to. That’s not the case since once you’ve been raped or got involved in human-trafficking, it’ll be with you for the rest of your life, no matter what William Morris, Mark Twain or Mark Rew say about pasts and futures.
I think we are all brainwashed by the movies we see and we’ve been too used to seeing these cases put so casually in the paper, in the headlines, everyday– like they’re some circus headlines that we miss the point of it. I became less empathic because I see everyday, but then I realized that there’s more to just being raped, being robbed, killed, bombed, it’s not just a ‘thing’ that happens, it’s not normal, it’s not something that will go away by saying: ‘we need to put a stop to this’…
In a way, I think living in Asia is a fortunate thing for me. Asians, the majority of Asians, tend to focus more on development, we don’t think we’re the best because clearly the USA has that kind of mentality, that’s why Asians are more driven to prove themselves, it’s in our DNA’s… both a good and a bad thing. the point is, people should find a purpose. I put the A there for a reason.
So there. Yea yea yea…. No matter what happens, I think Family is family, family should empower each other to do better, be better, to protect each other and stick together. 
Lastly… it’s like how weird and awesome is it that in the whole Universe (which is still expanding), a group of people were put in the same planet, the same country, the same city, and the same place… much less come from the same womb. It’s just magical. If you believe in that sort of stuff…

this episode made me realize my mistakes, that I shouldnt take my own family for granted (even though I have a bunch of really hard-headed putting it nicely siblings), that looking at my own family made me feel hopeful and light… even though the pressure they’re putting on me is a pain in the butt… they will protect me and will believe that I can be the best even with my wayward and adventurous ways. My guilt is that I only wish NOW that I can do the same for them because that is exactly what being human is for, what being human is all about. Being there, growing stronger in order to help other people get stronger too, I missed that point, I only cared about adventures and— myself. Even though everybody’s acting selfish and self-centered, it isn’t an excuse for me to act that way too.

“Forgiveness doesnt mean that you have to accept the person back into your life, doesnt mean that you’re condoning what they did or everything was okay, Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.” – Oprah Show

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Posted by on July 8, 2012 in family, quotes


Happy Father’s Day!

My dad has a huge influence on me, no matter how much i try to deny it. How I see myself, my views on life, my views on health and my interests i got most from him… I look up to him when it comes to sports, health and staying simple. He is a wise man who knows how to have fun and how to be cool. Who knows what he wants in life and his potential and limitations. He taught me how to play chess, how to value math (although he never passed on his math genes onto me…), how to value myself, how to value intelligence and think strategically. He even taught me how to be manly and minimize acting like a girl. He taught me a lot of things, made me realize a lot of things and tried to give me advice on a lot of matters in life which I sometimes disagree with for some of it does not suit my personality and deviant nature.

It made me think, maybe I fail as a girl because of him… That I got my rowdy, never-stay-put attitude from him after all. No matter how much I would like to think I took after my mom, I’m much more like my dad than I’d like to think (my scent says so). I put value on my youth and body more than a normal person does… and I AM becoming more of a health freak since I stepped into my 20’s.

Thank you God for giving me Papa Ed. I wasnt mature enough before to appreciate the mindset he’s given me. He raised me properly, his father, my lolo, raised me properly too… he gave me the right foundations, surrounded me with all the necessary visuals a great person should have as a child. He tried to focus my mind on the important things in life, values and principles.

Most importantly, something I realized after looking at some photos from before… I never looked back, never looked behind me because subconsciously, I KNOW for sure that he… my father, is always there behind my back. It is innate that I feel un-scared, brave, fearless… because from the beginning, before I was even born, the air around me knew that no matter what he’ll be there supporting me and protecting me from everything that would try to break me. I never dared or even thought of the need to look behind me because of them and the priceless parental security that they provide spiritually. They are the exact reason I always look forward and feel free to take any leap… I never knew it until now, and I dont even know if they’re aware of it. It’s that rare magic, I think, that not even their parents’ love can compare to…

So Papa, even though you say I’m eccentric, I’m not crazy nor weird… I’m just loved, that’s why I have this mojo because of your, and Mama’s love.

I love you very much.
I wish you would stay healthy and see me fly and soar high.
I wish you’ll stay healthy till you’re 150 y/o and watch me surpass you and put my genes to good use. Haha, you make me so emotional I cry.

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Posted by on June 18, 2012 in family, great stuff, Papa