My dad has a huge influence on me, no matter how much i try to deny it. How I see myself, my views on life, my views on health and my interests i got most from him… I look up to him when it comes to sports, health and staying simple. He is a wise man who knows how to have fun and how to be cool. Who knows what he wants in life and his potential and limitations. He taught me how to play chess, how to value math (although he never passed on his math genes onto me…), how to value myself, how to value intelligence and think strategically. He even taught me how to be manly and minimize acting like a girl. He taught me a lot of things, made me realize a lot of things and tried to give me advice on a lot of matters in life which I sometimes disagree with for some of it does not suit my personality and deviant nature.
It made me think, maybe I fail as a girl because of him… That I got my rowdy, never-stay-put attitude from him after all. No matter how much I would like to think I took after my mom, I’m much more like my dad than I’d like to think (my scent says so). I put value on my youth and body more than a normal person does… and I AM becoming more of a health freak since I stepped into my 20’s.
Thank you God for giving me Papa Ed. I wasnt mature enough before to appreciate the mindset he’s given me. He raised me properly, his father, my lolo, raised me properly too… he gave me the right foundations, surrounded me with all the necessary visuals a great person should have as a child. He tried to focus my mind on the important things in life, values and principles.
Most importantly, something I realized after looking at some photos from before… I never looked back, never looked behind me because subconsciously, I KNOW for sure that he… my father, is always there behind my back. It is innate that I feel un-scared, brave, fearless… because from the beginning, before I was even born, the air around me knew that no matter what he’ll be there supporting me and protecting me from everything that would try to break me. I never dared or even thought of the need to look behind me because of them and the priceless parental security that they provide spiritually. They are the exact reason I always look forward and feel free to take any leap… I never knew it until now, and I dont even know if they’re aware of it. It’s that rare magic, I think, that not even their parents’ love can compare to…
So Papa, even though you say I’m eccentric, I’m not crazy nor weird… I’m just loved, that’s why I have this mojo because of your, and Mama’s love.
I love you very much.
I wish you would stay healthy and see me fly and soar high.
I wish you’ll stay healthy till you’re 150 y/o and watch me surpass you and put my genes to good use. Haha, you make me so emotional I cry.